Monday, December 31, 2007

Day Is Done

Praise ye the Lord. Praise, O ye servants of the Lord, praise the name of the Lord. Blessed be the name of the Lord from this time forth and for evermore. From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the Lord's name is to be praised. ~Psalm 113:1-3

Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, to the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen. ~Jude 1:24, 25

2007 - In Review

January - acquired a miniature mule deer rabbit
February - chicken bit me
March - participated in Bring Your Chicken to Work Day
April - hunted pygmy CowNots
May - fish in / fish out
June - spinach harvest
July - new chicks
August - new FancyNot shoes
September - McSpazzy gags over chicken photos
October - spray painted and poly coated miniature mule deer rabbit
November - wore stupid shoes and nearly poked out Son3's eye
December - blew up eggs and talked too much

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. ~I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Purrle - SmartNot

If he can't see me, I can't see him, and I'll put Bammy's milk on the breakfast tray.

Nice try though, Chubs.

As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word,
that ye may grow thereby.
I Peter 2:2

Saturday, December 29, 2007

I Came - I Poached - I Conquered

4 Yolk Piercings
1 minute
Power Level 3

Eet Eez Ayyg

If you look closely -- as naturally you would, since you're all about studying the minutiae of my photos -- you may even see 3 of the 4 piercings.

Of course, since I'm old as dirt, I forgot all about the poaching success I had yesterday and fried the egg this morning. Now I gotta wash that flippin' skillet again.

No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier. ~II Timothy 2:4

[Postscript: As a courtesy to poor Zoomer, who is compulsing over the location of the 4th hole, I've returned to the original 27" x 36" print size photo and cropped a magnification. Arrow points to a slight discoloration which is likely a cooked, white-glazed remnant of the hole. We're gonna say so for Zoomer's sake. I don't know why we snap our photos in size paper-the-walls, but it's sure come in handy today, as we attempt to nurse Zoomer back to mental stability.]

Thursday, December 27, 2007


For thou, Lord, hast made me glad through thy work:
I will triumph in the works of thy hands.
Psalm 92:4
[Postscript: I'm looking at the egg -- bluegreen. I'm looking at the photo of the egg on my monitor -- bluegreen. You're seeing a gray egg? Your monitor manufacturer is sorry. I'm sorry. My children are sorry. My ameraucana hens are sorry. Vladimir Putin and Condoleeza Rice are sorry. No, McSpazzy, I'm not going to mail you a bluegreen egg. Now taking appointments for in-person viewing of the marvelous, bluegreen egg. Admission: chocolates.]

[Post Postscript: Joycie weighs in via email, seeing a bluegreen egg. Joycie is the good one.]

Incoming -- BobDog

Just as Cousin Annie is the only person who'd send me a photo of the bubble-eyeball in her cappuccino, I believe she's the only nut person who would send this photo of her dog, Bob:

Uh, yeah, thanks for the photo of your BobDog, Annie.

Having eventually emerged from the unexpected, snow-filled dip in the ground level, I now understand why Cousin Annie has to rinse Bob in warm water and blow him dry after he plays outdoors.

That Bob!

Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. ~Psalm 16:11

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Don't Do It

Don't: Pout or take to your bed when your older kids come home for a visit, and your son says of your dog, "That's not even a dog. It's a rabbit!" and your daughter says, "He looks like a fox-faced rat with mule deer ears."

Don't: Buy your sons matching chore jackets, sizes Men's Large and Boys' 12, because your elder son may stumble groggily to the entry early in the morning, preparing to take the trash to the curb, and you may hear him grunting and muttering "gawwwsh" and "ouch," and when you turn toward the noises, you'll see him standing there stuffed into his little brother's jacket, a perplexed look on his sleepy face. You may laugh like a hyena on steroids and beg him to remain in that predicament long enough for you to run get the camera, and he won't have a compliant attitude toward that request.

Don't: Decide to make your father-in-law a microwave-poached egg for breakfast, because 24 seconds at power level 6 will explode the egg; 36 seconds at power level 5 will explode egg #2; when you try power level 3 and open the door at 10 seconds, because you forgot to pierce the yolk this time, poking the toothpick in the yolk will make egg #3 explode and the bowl leap off the floor of the oven. You'll scream really loudly. Then you'll have to fry egg #4.

To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
Ecclesiastes 3:1

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Snow Ice Cream

When life deals you a snowstorm, make snow ice cream. Don't concern yourself with company coming tomorrow, the unscrubbed tub, the polyester raccoon guts and faux fur your dog spread all over the house, decorating cookies, cutting up vegetables, or the explosion in your kitchen. Stop and drop everything. Make snow ice cream.

Make it pink:

And when you notice all the little black flecks in it, since the wind was blowing 35 mph, think about vanilla beans. Don't think about CowNot ooppay.

Then return to your dough for rolls, but get some help kneading it, because that's a big job, and your arms are tired from making snow ice cream.

If your helper gets messy, she'll take care of that.

If all that hard work kneading dough for rolls makes her hungry, she might dip into the dough for a snack, and that's okay, because she's a SugarPlum.

Then you might hear your youngest son squawking, "Mom! She put her hands back in the dough!"

Your youngest son was never subjected to baby slobber -- being, himself, the youngest -- so you'll have to explain that a 400º oven annihilates all baby slobberings. Use the word annihilate, because boys like those kinds of words and will be distracted from thoughts of baby spit.

But then remove the dough quickly, since you're not really all about science, and your helper is still cleaning her hands.

And don't post anything online about slobbery rolls until all your guests are bubbling, after the meal. They just may not know about the annihilating powers of 400º ovens.

Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. ~James 4:8-10

Friday, December 21, 2007


This isn't my fault. I didn't think it up all by myself out of nowhere. I read on a blog this morning the term white men, then I went to take a shower. Since I don't sing in the shower, I think in the shower. I'm not the one who put white men in my head; it got stuck there(, just like "Let It Snow" got stuck in my head for a couple of hours last night, and that wasn't my fault either.) Actually, I read angry white men, and it was a woman who used the term, but let's not go there. I was thinking about white in the shower.

Who is white?

As much as I'd love to take credit for that illustration, I stole it in part from Ken Ham, who delightfully used the contrast in a seminar. I'm not white. (I'm not angry either, but this isn't about that.) In fact, I'm light and dark shades of brown. Everyone is some shade(s) of brown. That may upset a lot of people who are fixated on pride in their particular shade or where their ancestors lived. [So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city. Genesis 11:8]

I've never seen a man or woman white (see printer paper), red (see fire engine), black (see tuxedo), or yellow (see sun). I saw on the news yesterday a blue man, but he accidentally did that to himself by applying colloidal silver to his skin. He's being discriminated against now, because he's blue, so he's moving to California, where he expects to be accepted...but I digress. Darwin, I've read, was the greatest promoter of racism, deeming some people groups inferior to others, based upon their physical characteristics. Ucky. Pretty ridiculous, too.

I'm not about science, but I've always liked the Punnett square. I liked it even more when I realized it explains the diversity of skin colors and other physical characteristics in humans. Surely Adam and Eve were created with the greatest possible gene pool. I'm going out on a limb when I suppose the possibilities were slightly watered down (pardon the pun) by the time Noah and his family stepped off the boat and piggled together a tent or two as a temporary shelter. So I reckon there may once have been physical characteristics we don't see today; maybe not. I suspect there are some people hanging out in caves today, too, but don't get me started on that.
They were bridge dwellers. They were cardboard box dwellers. They were cave dwellers. They were car dwellers. Uh-huh. What era was that?

I know a lot of people embrace all manner of presto-chango, highly imaginative, ego-boosting, self-aggrandizing, science-nose-thumbing, God-expunging explanations for physical diversity in the human race. I like the simplicity of the truth. It's okay with me -- it's REALLY okay with me -- that I'm not a god and never shall be. I don't aspire to godhood. And I couldn't be happier that God is God and knows what He's doing and how to do it.

So, as a descendant of Noah, I have a lot of relatives. A LOT of relatives. Never mind how many won't claim me. And they're all WhiteNot, including that blue man on the West Coast.

"God, ...that made the world and all things therein, seeing that he is Lord of heaven and earth, hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth..." Acts 17:24-26

I'm all done with my shower post now.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Piggledy Conversations

Hmm, we're driving home at deer hour.

Deer hour. Is that like rush hour or power hour?


You know, there's a group of politicians...

Cows! Look at the cows. I love it when the cows are black and the sky's colorful. Look at that.


I want a picture. Ohhh, I want a picture of that. I wish I had a picture of that.

Is that ice? I don't think it's ice. Is it ice?

No, it can't be ice.

Maybe the road's sweating.

Well, it can't be ice.
Politcians seem to...

You need to not talk. Help me watch for deer.

Okay. I'm watching.

Put your head against the headrest.


Cows. I think they like to hang out with cows.

Yeah, they go back a long way.

*swerving around black lump in road*

That was a skunk.

I know.
Ew! (from the back seat)
Aw, that's awful!
Oh man, ohhhhhhhh.
Ohhh, why can we still smell it?
You know how skunks work.

*stopping at the mailbox*

Look. Look at the trees. I love it when the trees are black and the sky's colorful.


I like it better with black cows though.

For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. ~Isaiah 55:12

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The Rock That Is Higher Than I

Words: Erastus Johnson

Oh, sometimes the shadows are deep,
And rough seems the path to the goal,
And sorrows, sometimes how they sweep
Like tempests down over the soul.

Oh, sometimes how long seems the day,
And sometimes how weary my feet!
But toiling in life’s dusty way,
The Rock’s blessèd shadow, how sweet!

Then near to the Rock let me keep
If blessings or sorrows prevail,
Or climbing the mountain way steep,
Or walking the shadowy vale.

O then to the Rock let me fly
To the Rock that is higher than I
O then to the Rock let me fly
To the Rock that is higher than I!

From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in thy tabernacle for ever: I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah. ~Psalm 61:2-4

Sunday, December 16, 2007


My email spellchecker told me the other day that's not a word, but I think it's lying. 'Sides, I like compulsing, so we'll go with it.

I'm compulsing with angst over whether or not Mrs. Piecrust squeezed enough juice out of her crushed pineapple when she made the cheeseball for her dinner party last night. If she didn't, I may be on her BFN (best friends NOT) list now, because I had one whale of a time convincing her to marry pineapple to green peppers and cream cheese in the first place. *glistening profusely*

I was compulsing over my right foot freezing (left is tucked beneath me and warmly snoozing under the weight), so I ran over to and bought 6 pieces of yarn-dyed flannel. I still have piggy popsicles going on, but I'm liking the thought of some new, soft, warm skirts. Flannel is not just for jammies, don'tcha know, but if the online color swatches were tainted again, the chickens are gonna love me. Stay tuned.

I've been compulsively playing the Quiddler game Zoomer sent me, which doubtless explains the pathetic condition of my house. Yeah, Zoomer's really messed up my house now. There ain't nothin' Zoomer can do -- way out there in that Western forest -- about being my whipping girl.

I need to be compulsing over that mountain of laundry, and if I was a better woman, I would be.

I'm gonna go be a better woman now.

For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world. ~1 Corinthians 11:31-32

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Petling Rivalry

Purrle wanted to be an only pet, so he's been ticked-off for nearly a year. Aware of his attitude and desiring no bloodshed, when we put Pierre's hoodie in the cart, we immediately turned on our heels and chose from the opposite side of the aisle a cute mouse-on-a-string for Purrle.

Purrle saw Pierre wearing his new hoodie, left the room, and reappeared with his head poked through the handle of a shopping bag, the remainder spread across his back. "Is this one mine?"

"Uh-oh. Let me have that before you choke your fat self. ...Someone dig through the rest of the sacks and find Purrle's mouse."

Thou shalt not covet...anything that is thy neighbor's.
Exodus 20:17

Friday, December 14, 2007

We Stayed Too Long

CarolineNot: Would you drive me to town? I'm scared. [I'm all about black ice, so don't even try to tell me it's not there.]
Charles: Scared!?
CarolineNot: Yeah.
Charles: Why?
CarolineNot: Because I'm not a big, strong man.
Son3: Oooh, good one. Now you gotta take her.

As we were checking out, I said to the cashier, "I think we stayed too long. When you have two carts and bought clothes for the dog, you stayed too long."

She chuckled, continued dragging foodstuffs across the scannerbeeper, then added, "You must have a lot of kids."

"Well, yeah," I said. "But most of them are grown and living away from home. Old habits die hard."

*more scannerbeeping*

"Bird seed too," she commented. "Dog clothes and bird food -- you stayed too long."

And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.
I Timothy 6:8

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Then the Sun Shone

He hath made every thing beautiful in his time.
Ecclesiastes 3:11a

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

KS Ice Storm

“'____ County is in good to great shape,' Said Rick F., of ____ County Emergency Management."

The cheery pronouncement isn't all that surprising, really, considering we also don't exist in the recently published, county Rural Directory -- Rural Resident & Ownership Maps.

Let me get this straight:

We don't live here.
We didn't lose power for several hours.
I wasn't sucking kerosene fumes all evening (and whining about it, as naturally I would).
I didn't stand outdoors and warm ham and beans on the gas grill.
Our acreage isn't littered with limbs.
Two branches didn't rock the house as they bounced off the roof and crashed to the ground.
The clothes pole t-bar didn't snap off.

Got it.

I won't be able to hang out laundry today. Rats!

Mrs. Piecrust told me not to plant silk flowers. Mrs. Piecrust is much more refined and has better taste than I. She grew up on Golf Hill, and I lived on St. Louis Ave. That says it all. Imagine, though, missing out on this. Sometimes it pays to be tacky:

Cool. Gotta love silk flowers in an ice storm.

We have enough downed limbs to fuel a fireplace for an entire season. Too bad we don't have a fireplace -- and that is a fact...she writes as the lights flicker again, as if on-cue to punctuate the fact that we do exist, we do live here, and it ain't over till it's over.

*more flickering*

Maybe I should perform a little operatic aria.

So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. ~Psalms 90:12

Monday, December 10, 2007

Fluffy Winter CowNots


Circle of Love -- CookieLove

Eliza Jane (background) Elemeno (foreground)


Willie - Prince of the Pasture

Nellie - A Sweeter CowNot Face There Isn't

Florence...Restrained Again
Florence believes all cookies are her cookies.
That Florence!

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly:
and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Hens and HenNots

Warming Cold Chicken Toes:

Eating Crumbled Goat Cookies:

Goat Cookies Are Tastier Than Grasshoppers:

Ameraucana Hen:

Ameraucana HenNot (Dorcas' Cousin):

Ancona & Black Star Hens:

Rhode Island Red HenNot:

Have ye not known? have ye not heard? hath it not been told you from the beginning? have ye not understood from the foundations of the earth? It is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain, and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in: That bringeth the princes to nothing; he maketh the judges of the earth as vanity. ~Isaiah 40:21-23