Saturday, December 22, 2007

Snow Ice Cream

When life deals you a snowstorm, make snow ice cream. Don't concern yourself with company coming tomorrow, the unscrubbed tub, the polyester raccoon guts and faux fur your dog spread all over the house, decorating cookies, cutting up vegetables, or the explosion in your kitchen. Stop and drop everything. Make snow ice cream.

Make it pink:

And when you notice all the little black flecks in it, since the wind was blowing 35 mph, think about vanilla beans. Don't think about CowNot ooppay.

Then return to your dough for rolls, but get some help kneading it, because that's a big job, and your arms are tired from making snow ice cream.

If your helper gets messy, she'll take care of that.

If all that hard work kneading dough for rolls makes her hungry, she might dip into the dough for a snack, and that's okay, because she's a SugarPlum.

Then you might hear your youngest son squawking, "Mom! She put her hands back in the dough!"

Your youngest son was never subjected to baby slobber -- being, himself, the youngest -- so you'll have to explain that a 400º oven annihilates all baby slobberings. Use the word annihilate, because boys like those kinds of words and will be distracted from thoughts of baby spit.

But then remove the dough quickly, since you're not really all about science, and your helper is still cleaning her hands.

And don't post anything online about slobbery rolls until all your guests are bubbling, after the meal. They just may not know about the annihilating powers of 400º ovens.

Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. ~James 4:8-10

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