Monday, October 15, 2007

It's All My Fault

...and I'm gonna be in really big trouble when Charles discovers this post. If the photo illustration disappears, you'll know he found it. *ducking & running* See, it's like this...

Charles is the greatest smoker and griller in the world. So when his birthday rolled around last month, we decided to reward him with a new, upgraded smoker: larger, heavier, more handsome. He was happy, of course, but made the teensiest noises about needing to learn a new piece of equipment now; he had the old one pegged to a fine cooking art. Oooh, I hadn't thought of that!

Enter the trial turkey.

I was deeply embroiled in a most dramatic (everything is dramatic in my world) phone conversation with dear Mrs. Piecrust, when I saw Charles approaching with his smoked prize. Assuming he wanted to display for me the lovely bird, and not really wanting to have my attention diverted from the conversation at that moment, I squinched my eyes shut and made an ucky-wife face, postponing the viewing. *bad wife - bad wife*

Imagine my shock when moments later I strolled to the kitchen and saw this:

Boy, did I feel guilty.
I did this when I bought that new smoker.

"I have to take pictures!"

"Son3 already did. I made him delete them. He's going to ruin my reputation."

"Oh please, please. This is too funny!" And the bad wife got her way, the little beggar.

Now, we're accustomed to the blackening which occurs when smoking meats, but this was approaching cinders. Just look at that black, shriveled wing and the dry, gaggy, stick-in-the-throat striations of exposed breast meat.

Charles decided to go ahead and rip the bird apart, searching for surviving, edible parts, and that's when we discovered we mustn't judge a turkey by its cinder-skin. Every bite of that bird was the tastiest, most succulent and tender, please-the-palate turkey we've ever et. Go figure! Over time and with trials, Charles will tweak turkeys until they're truly picture-perfect again. In the meantime, we don't care what they look like, as long as they remain as scrumptious as Ugly #1.

Reputation Intact, Charles!

For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. ~Philippians 4:11-13

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