Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Pond Scum

Pretend it's lily pads.

Can't the girls just have some fun?  The scum wasn't the worst of it.

For starters, I came perilously close to providing a funniest home videos moment, as I boarded the YachtNot and was immediately -- and quite unbecomingly -- stretched between a dock post and the rapidly departing craft.  I hurled myself backward and landed most unceremoniously in my seat, which was embarrassing but preferred above landing face-first in the pond.

I was pedaling, and the plum was steering, when I heard "the 'S' word" being bandied about on the bank.  Nuh-uh.  Say it ain't so.  It was so, and that vile creature was headed straight for the YachtNot.  I didn't know this old nana had that sort of strength left in her decrepit body, but I wrenched that little kid out of her seat and onto my lap so fast, it's a wonder I didn't fully fling her overboard.  Within 3 feet of our craft now, all that commotion hadn't deterred the 'nake from its path, so I pedaled for all I was worth.

Manlikind was now running willy-nilly around the pond with sticks, a golf club, and a rake, having the time of their lives, as they positioned themselves to beat the life out of the invader, when it banked itself.  I, still drifting apond, was neither exhilarated nor amused.  There had gone my dreamy plan of pedaling around the pond in solitude every morning, listening to Alexander Scourby. 

Three more 'nakes were spotted, the YachtNot was moored, SugarPlum went to the woods to ride the tire horse, and I perched myself on a bench, where I'd have a good view of when to run from the scene.  A chair at the kitchen table was sounding awfully inviting to this girl who's not so keen on the greatNot outdoors anyway. When I commented on how odd it was for 'nakes to be in the pond, I learned it's not odd at all.  Last year they managed to dispose of them all without me ever knowing a thing about them.  Comforting.  NOT.

Well, get to it!  I'll be in the kitchen.

Mine enemies would daily swallow me up: for they be many that fight against me, O thou most High.  What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.  ~Psalm 56:2, 3

Postscript:(from the Comments box)  "My favorite picture was Dad smackin' the snake with the golf club." =) ~ Andie

Would that be this one?

Or what he did to himself in the smackin' process?


Andie said...

My favorite picture was Dad smackin the snake with the golf club. =)

Andie said...

both =)

Laurel said...

Scarrryyyy 'nake story, but VERY funny!!

Son3 said...

Wow, you can actually see the snake!

Janet said...

I would have like to have seen this on video. Too funny.